Am I addicted?

Shopping
Its so addictive. Its like nothing...you just trawl through endless pictures of dresses, shoes, bags...sometimes DVDs and iy all just looks so relatively good in high resolution JPEG encased in a thin black border with the prices in a fainter colour (if not red to emphasise the cheapness) and everytime...every bloody time it calls out with its perfect still display:

"Hi. Yes I look good right here in cyber land - but I bet, no, I know I would look so much better on you (or in your Argar multi-region DVD player)."

At this point you have convinced yourself that yes, if other people are bidding then you may as well beat them. After all they don't deserve that 1979 duffle-style carpet bag that you sooo wanted up until 7 minutes ago, when Bidder 3 upped the ante to £10.60 (exc p&p)...

- Now looking back, when exactly should have I decided that there was something clearly wrong with this train on thought?

A) When I had bid simply because others were
B) When I started to verbally (no lie) convince myself that a CARPET BAG (people!) was exactly what my wardrobe needed.

and (or)
C) When the fashion lame angel (or sensible voice) on my shoulder had fleetingly stirred up a feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach.

But surely that is what fashion is all about? impulsive, selfish hunger and desire to flaunt your creative spectical?

I'm not an eccentric fashion follower - most of the time I buy things that singularly are special and different, but end up putting them with something rather plain...like my uni clo straight jeans...simply because i'm too self consious to pull off an entire ensemble. Sure I want to be noticed, but it comes both ways...good and bad...and occasionally ugly.

- However that flower ruffled sleeve jumper in oatmeal cream would do wonders on me.

With my jeans...and purple flats (snore) -

Now I'm certainly no laidback Kate Moss - oozing effortless fashion fowardness through my pores. Nor am I a maid-up Carrie Bradshaw putting eccentric thought and beautiful detail into my ensembles everyday...but I love looking at clothes, putting outfits together (even to just look) but I love recieving them even more.

There is something about spending online which initially says: Do it...it's bidding for so cheap right now.

Then its something like: Ok...well you've come this far.

And when you're absently clicking and typing in figures - *its not real*...you're not looking at the money and physically handing it to the smug shop lady behind the till- and - "At least I can't see 50 other prettier, skinnier, taller girls purchasing the same thing!" - (Heed me Topshop). Online shopping is personal - and you are the most important customer and you are in control. PAH.

Winning is a rush...but coming home to that parcel is (for me) the best bit.